I wanted to do a contemporary ghazal, but I was having a lot of trouble with it. Couplets, rhythm, and associational words seem to be the “rules”.
The Oracle helped me organize some zephyrous thoughts. I also used Sue Vincent’s photo prompt, above, as inspiration.
Let secrets dance with air
surrounded by tree breath
Must time summon angels
to remember sacred clouds?
Embrace each flying star
lingering on dazzled breezes
Listen for the magic voices
that haunt the windows in the sky
Open all your portals–
wake up every forgotten ghost
dVerse is featuring the ghazal form this month. You can read lots of them here.
Also linked to Open Link Night.
K. 
I especially like the last two lines. Facing the ghosts is what puts them to rest, dismisses them, or makes them friends, I think.
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That’s exactly right.
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I like the thought of dancing in that tree breath.
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Me too Frank. Thanks.
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I love your (Oracle-aided) zephyrous thoughts–dancing secrets, magic voices, and opening the portals for the forgotten ghosts. Glorious!
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Thanks Merril. She was full of ideas this week.
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Always.
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I love the way the Oracle always shares a few snippets of good advice. These are lovely rules to live by. The contemporary ghazal is a mystery to me, but this is a good poem.
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She is generous, always.
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She doesn’t play hard to get like some divine beings I can think of.
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Manifestations of the worst human traits…hard to believe they inspire “worship” (and what a strange concept that is anyway)
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It is. How can you be a parent figure and demand that your children ‘worship’ you?
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Love this… each couplet is a new revelation… Oracles always show us what to find.
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Thanks Bjorn. The Oracle always seems to know what I need.
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A wonderful post. For me, most especially the last three stanzas.
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Thanks Lillian.
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A window or portal in a tree as a window to the sky – the world is full of mysteries, and The Oracle knows all the secrets.
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Thanks Ken, I believe She does. But She doesn’t reveal them all at once.
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I love it!
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Thanks Rosemary!
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First, as an imagist poem, I think it’s revelatory and fresh. Whether it qualifies as a ghazal, which has to have something of the spirit of ghazal or something of the form of Ghazal, I don’t know. So taking what I think a ghazal should be — a paean to love of some sort even a kind of drinking song, with different things pointing out different aspects in the varying couplets, I think this might miss being called a Ghazal. As a modern form of that poem, I wouldn’t think it needs to be that strict regarding rhyme, meter, or line length, In this poem, each couplet does address different aspects of ethers. What bothers me is a lack of parallel in the five couplets.
Your last three couplets are imperatives, and so is the first one but in a different way that makes it not quite parallel. The second couplet breaks from all the others. Regardless of whatever poem scheme we’re talking about, “must time” makes me come to a full stop. This is a rhetorical question but it breaks the flow and introduces a non-poetic type of ambiguity for me. I like what you’re going for in this piece and I think you could tighten it up and make it better.
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Thanks Gay. I hadn’t thought about the parallels, but I see what you mean.
I don’t see love in a lot of the modern ghazals I read, but it might be my idea of love is different from the rest of the world’s. That would definitely disqualify my words in any case, as you point out.
I am always editing. No poem is ever done.
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True and it’s just short of being really good. I generally like to emphasize the best in a poem, but then a poem like this comes along that needs a little fix, a little review, a tiny nudge to be something special and I can’t resist my red pencil. Thank you.
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Interesting approach through associations and use of couplets. I found the ghazal form hard as I had lots of unconnected association but there was one link or theme of my feelings when leaving. Not sure if that helps for yours as I like its mysteriousness.
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Thanks! Gay says it’s not a ghazal because it’s not about love. Forms are made to be bent and elaborated, I think, anyway. Just a starting point.
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I love that last couplet… and in answer to the comment about love, I’d say love takes many forms…
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Thanks Sue. Indeed it does.
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