shadorma/liala

the landscape
pauses, quiescent–
waiting on
the edge of
movement—no time passes here–
framed in memories

Colleen’s #TankaTuesday prompt this week was an interesting one–

  • First, choose your favorite syllabic poetry form. Write your poem.
  • Next, give your poem some different characteristics to make it something different. You can change the syllable count, rhyme scheme (add or get rid of it), anything you want to create a new form. Write this poem.
  • Give your new syllabic poetry form a name.

I chose shadorma. How to change it? I had noticed before that all the lines had odd numbers of syllables, so I added one syllable to each line, to make them all even.

landscape pauses,
quiescent, waiting on
movement’s edge—no
time passes here–
a stilled photograph of silence–
time framed in memories

Thinking of a name was difficult. Shadorma seems to be totally made up, although several people noted the similarity to the word shadow. So I decided to pick a name with a beginning from light. I ended up with Liala, because I like the sound of it and the repetition of the a ending. It’s evidently a girls’ name but I could find no meaning for it.

There is a subtle difference between the odd and even syllabled poems, but I’m not sure which one I like best.

The photos are cropped versions of panoramas composed by my older daughter from photos she took in the mountains of Arizona where my father requested that we spread his ashes. My mother did not make any request except to be cremated, but we managed to find the very same place to spread her ashes years later after her death.

34 thoughts on “shadorma/liala”

    1. Thanks Jade. No they were from Ohio. We also lived in Maryland for about 10 years. They retired to Arizona after the Ohio winters got to be too much. My father became quite attached to the landscape.

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  5. I like both poems, but there’s a slightly different feel to them that I can’t quite explain.
    The poem(s) by themselves are lovely and thoughtful, but the photos and explanation give them a deeper, personal meaning.
    My sister has both of my parents’ ashes. Sometimes she puts them near each other so they can visit. 😏

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  9. Here’s a Basque name for you. Not Catalan, but close (geographically anyway) Alaia. It means Joy. A friend’s son gave it to his daughter. They’re Basque origin. It’s pretty.
    Your poem is majestic. Quiescent is a great word. I think I prefer the second form (yours) as it adds the notion of a photograph to explain the ‘frame’.

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    1. Thanks Jane. I’m still waffling about which I like better, but I agree the word photograph adds more dimension.
      And that’s a lovely name. The sounds of those letter together is full of light.

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  11. I’m not sure what the deal is with odds being the favored count for verses or even some syllable counting verses.
    A lovely subtle change. And a nice name too. 😀

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  13. Pingback: #TANKA TUESDAY #POETRY STARS – Specific Form: Create Your Own Syllabic Poetry Form | 🍃Word Craft: Prose & Poetry🍃

  14. I like both verison and the subtle difference between them. Beautiful photo of Arizona to work from as well as meaning behind it.

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