just like that/either way

more
and more
crow-
ded in-
to less and
less—un-
fold-
ed and
folded a-
gain each new day–
do I need
to know
who
I am?
words scatter
like air–
gone,
disa-
ppeared

David at the skeptic’s kaddish introduced me to the waltz wave, an poetry form that asks you to separate the syllables for some of your words. I like to do this, especially in shadorma.

I found it to be a challenge, especially to find the right subject matter for this kind of verse. In the end I wrote two, both of which seemed to go well with an old collage I had done which was based on a painting by Redon.

do
dreams fly
or
tunnel?
flow or stun?
spiral
to
the cen-
ter or spin
out to the far-
thest away?
will they
em-
brace or
turn around?
para-
llel
or de-
part?

For Colleen’s #Tanka Tuesday, poet’s choice.

Also linking to dVerse OLN, hosted by Mish.

32 thoughts on “just like that/either way

  1. I’ll have to look up the form. Just to separate words for no reason seems odd, but I did like how crow became crowded. 😀. Birds and dreams flying and tunneling.
    I really like the collage with the birds and “we can’t explain it ever.”

    Like

    1. David is much better at it than I. It does make you think about the words though.
      I like this collage too. If I can find it, I think I’ll get it framed. But I’m sure it’s in storage somewhere.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I like the line “Wake up in a land of birds”. This form is a bit disruptive for me, but hey, I’m old, and new things throw me.

    Like

  3. The thoughts in both of these work nicely with the form.

    And this…

    “do
    dreams fly
    or
    tunnel?”

    I think that when dreams fly they still tunnel, leaving subliminal thoughts that weaves their way through our minds.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. First of all, as always, I am struck by your artwork… you know, I’m not so “into” art, Kerfe… I don’t much understand it… but yours feels so relatable to me – and every piece is always such an entity unto itself – it’s just wonderful.

    Also – I don’t know why I’d never thought of centering a waltz wave – yours looks really nice from an aesthetic perspective (no surprises there, knowing you), and I may use that next time I write one 🙂

    And – I agree with you – there’s something about breaking the words that seems to match your style and writing preferences – it’s like the waltz wave is particularly well suited to you!


    David

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks David. I still think you’re more skilled at this form than I am, but that’s also a bonus of doing a form many times.

      I need to get back to doing collage–one of the things I hope to do on my break. I’m still totally disorganized from all my moves the past few years, so that’s the top priority though. I’m never well organized, but I can’t work in total chaos either.

      I was told by an editor once that no one likes a centered poem, but aesthetically it’s much more pleasing to me. It also really shows.off the form sometimes as well. But then literary editors also don’t generally like forms in poetry. Definitely Not Trending.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I finally made it here! Someone definitely created the waltz wave form for you, Kerfe. It suits you perfectly. I’ll have to give this a go. Your art always sends me messages I connect with. Aesthetically, it’s much more pleasing to me if a poem is centered on the page. I like it! 😀 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thanks for introducing me to the “waltz wave”. Your subject matter works so well with the form and your collages are captivating. I feel that owl has much to say…..

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s