more
and more
crow-
ded in-
to less and
less—un-
fold-
ed and
folded a-
gain each new day–
do I need
to know
who
I am?
words scatter
like air–
gone,
disa-
ppeared
David at the skeptic’s kaddish introduced me to the waltz wave, an poetry form that asks you to separate the syllables for some of your words. I like to do this, especially in shadorma.
I found it to be a challenge, especially to find the right subject matter for this kind of verse. In the end I wrote two, both of which seemed to go well with an old collage I had done which was based on a painting by Redon.
do
dreams fly
or
tunnel?
flow or stun?
spiral
to
the cen-
ter or spin
out to the far-
thest away?
will they
em-
brace or
turn around?
para-
llel
or de-
part?
For Colleen’s #Tanka Tuesday, poet’s choice.
Also linking to dVerse OLN, hosted by Mish.
K. 
I’ll have to look up the form. Just to separate words for no reason seems odd, but I did like how crow became crowded. 😀. Birds and dreams flying and tunneling.
I really like the collage with the birds and “we can’t explain it ever.”
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David is much better at it than I. It does make you think about the words though.
I like this collage too. If I can find it, I think I’ll get it framed. But I’m sure it’s in storage somewhere.
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This is untrue, Kerfe – although thank you for suggesting it! (and I believe that you believe it)
❤
David
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An interesting poetic form. well presented with the collages.
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Thanks Beverly. Interesting is exactly right. I think it takes practice.
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Your artistic and writing talents are so impressive … I enjoy form poetry ~ this is a prime example of “really good.”
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Thanks Helen. I enjoy the challenge of forms too. They encourage your mind to work in different ways.
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I like the line “Wake up in a land of birds”. This form is a bit disruptive for me, but hey, I’m old, and new things throw me.
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Thanks Glenn, you made me laugh. I think it’s meant to be disruptive. But I need to exercise my mind every once in awhile…
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I had exactly the same reaction as Merril. When I saw crow- I thought, crow. Kerfe’s bird. And it became crowded. Flocked.
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I agree–that was the most successful break. Crow always finds his way in.
But I did like de-part too.
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Yes, that’s another one that makes sense.
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Wonderful collage and the form looks interesting. Always good questions.
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Thanks Jade. Those questions won’t leave me alone.
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You’ve very welcome.
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like both these and your collages, I’m inspired to try this form in the future … thanks to you and David!
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I look forward to it!
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lol just so long as I don’t post it during your break 🙂
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How clever is the form and your collaged work blends well with your words. Have a good weekend.
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Thanks Grace. I’m not sure it’s clever, but it’s an interesting exercise.
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I think the broken syllables add to the cyclical effect of the poetry, which is very effective!
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Thanks Ingrid. This form does have its own rhythm.
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The thoughts in both of these work nicely with the form.
And this…
“do
dreams fly
or
tunnel?”
I think that when dreams fly they still tunnel, leaving subliminal thoughts that weaves their way through our minds.
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I like that image. Thanks Ken.
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First of all, as always, I am struck by your artwork… you know, I’m not so “into” art, Kerfe… I don’t much understand it… but yours feels so relatable to me – and every piece is always such an entity unto itself – it’s just wonderful.
Also – I don’t know why I’d never thought of centering a waltz wave – yours looks really nice from an aesthetic perspective (no surprises there, knowing you), and I may use that next time I write one 🙂
And – I agree with you – there’s something about breaking the words that seems to match your style and writing preferences – it’s like the waltz wave is particularly well suited to you!
❤
David
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Thanks David. I still think you’re more skilled at this form than I am, but that’s also a bonus of doing a form many times.
I need to get back to doing collage–one of the things I hope to do on my break. I’m still totally disorganized from all my moves the past few years, so that’s the top priority though. I’m never well organized, but I can’t work in total chaos either.
I was told by an editor once that no one likes a centered poem, but aesthetically it’s much more pleasing to me. It also really shows.off the form sometimes as well. But then literary editors also don’t generally like forms in poetry. Definitely Not Trending.
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I guess I won’t be trending any time soon then!
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I finally made it here! Someone definitely created the waltz wave form for you, Kerfe. It suits you perfectly. I’ll have to give this a go. Your art always sends me messages I connect with. Aesthetically, it’s much more pleasing to me if a poem is centered on the page. I like it! 😀 ❤
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Thanks Colleen. You should check out the chicken sound poem on memadtwo as well. This is a good form for sounds.
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I’ll check it out for sure! 😍
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Thanks for introducing me to the “waltz wave”. Your subject matter works so well with the form and your collages are captivating. I feel that owl has much to say…..
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