We avoid the
word death. Darkened by
deceptions, we turn
away, close our eyes
We are told to cheer
up, as if emotions could be denied,
as if getting over was simply done.
We avoid the
word death. The wheel turns,
but not always towards
the light. Don’t tell us
that time will heal
the scars, that everything will be all right.
We must remember—all the names—now gone.
For earthweal, where the theme is All Souls.
I did this collage for one of Jane’s prompts last year, but I think it works as well with this poem.
K. 
This is beautiful. ☺️
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Thanks Jeff.
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You’re most welcome. Always.
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a perfect match and such a worthy tribute, thanks for the reminder!
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Thanks Kate.
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Yes, people are uncomfortable with death and grief………I love that quote that grief is where we put the love for the one we lost. We honour them by remembering. A beautiful poem – and art, as always. Your work is wonderful.
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Thanks Sherry.
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I agree: avoiding the word death is damaging, because it denies the validity of the grieving process, which is necessary and natural if we are to achieve any kind of healing.
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Thanks Ingrid. I find people often avoid you if someone close to you has died as well. Like they could catch it from you.
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Yes, I know what you mean.
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Amen! Amen!
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Thanks David.
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yes, and on a side-note, I just want to say how much I like your approach to photographing the original collage, incorporating the shadows and light-play at source to further vivify the image and underscore the theme.
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Thanks Phil. I often do this because I love the play of light and shadow but it worked particularly well in this case.
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You’re so right with this one. We can’t accept that sadness or grief is here to stay. Cheer up, time’s a great healer, you’ll get over it etc etc. I bet ancient people knew that grieving was part of life and ever-present, when your baby was more likely to die than to live, that if you were a woman you were most likely going to die in pregnancy, childbirth or as a result of it. They had to face death on a daily basis. Can’t imagine them telling one another, chin up, you’ll get over it.
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I don’t know about ancient people, but later they were told it’s God’s will. And I’ve read letters and such of women who were trying to make sense of that while grieving. But of course, women who weren’t literate, or who couldn’t afford paper, ink, candles, etc. couldn’t pour their grief out on a page.
And mourning rituals that we don’t have now were probably helpful.
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“God’s will”–just another way of imposing a hierarchy of control and suffering. I do think you are right about ritual though–we’ve lost so much of our communal ways to acknowledge both life and death.
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Yes, I wouldn’t want to be forced to wear mourning or anything, but at the same time, people knew you were grieving and allowed you to do so.
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The number of times I’ve heard that pious excuse—it’s God’s will —after earthquakes, wars, child murders etc etc. It’s a way of denying grief. ‘You have no business wailing, it was God’s will’. Sad.
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Yes, I have the same reaction.
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They don’t seem to see anything illogical in the idea of a ‘good’ god ‘wiling’ some massive tragedy.
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That always has struck me as strange. Not how I would characterize love.
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No doubt a Jesuit could explain it to us.
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To disallow grieving is a great injustice. By acknowledging death (and not just human death), we affirm life and the ways everything is connected.
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Pregnancy is another emotive state that has been pushed into the ‘we don’t talk about that’ status apparently. Another example of where the new feminists have lost the plot, because they have chosen to pretend that men and women are the same as well as equal, and having a baby is, well, it’s nothing to do with being a woman, is it?
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That’s a good observation. Having equal rights does not mean everyone is the same. In any respect.
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No, it seems intellectually sloppy to claim that they are.
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This is so true, Kerfe. And in your words, I see a recognition both that we need to mourn on a personal level, and also as a societal level remembering their names.
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Thanks Merril. Yes I was also thinking of collective mourning and how it might not only serve as a source of unity but help keep us from repeating the same destructive behavior over and over.
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Perhaps. I don’t know.
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Probably not, but one can hope…
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beautiful collage and words…we must learn to live with grief and never forget them
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Yes we must. Thanks Cressida.
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Yes. Hearing “Time will heal you” is about as helpful as everyone who says “Our thought and prayers are with you” to the family and other survivors of mass shootings. Words, words, words.
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Indeed. That’s another one of my least favorites as well.
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Yes, yes. Every word you have written here resonates deeply with me. The art work is really evocative too – particularly the last one with the person in the mask.
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Thanks Suzanne. It’s an image that will linger in our minds, even when/if we ever discard them from our lives.
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That’s for sure. We are allowed to walk around outside without them now but most people are still wearing them.
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It’s about half and half here. The young think they are invincible and they don’t worry if they infect anyone else…
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Strange times!
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An elegy is a form of welcome, holding the door to death open, refusing to shut it so fast, and learning its courses as one does a dark city. Because death too is citizen of this life … Love the collages.
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Thanks Brendan. You always give me new insights into what I have written.
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