
listing waves of change–
immense confused unwell–
a bitter solitude–
fretful shapeless still
wilderness estranged–
damaged undazzled quelled
reversed and left unmoored–
a landscape murdered killed
misunderstood deranged
hypnotic words cast spells–
a whispered mania–
the mind unravels, spills
connection broken frayed–
once Paradise, now Hell

Bjorn at dVerse gave us the challenge of writing a bref double poem. I had a lot of trouble with the rhythm of this form, a dissatisfaction that I could only resolve by making the b and c rhymes similar.
Like Punam, I looked to Jane’s Oracle 2 words for inspiration and received a similar message.
This sounds like a mad chant from a demented mind. I admire you attempting the prompt. I didn’t understand it. Couldn’t find any reference to it in French poetry either. Glad the words were useful.
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The whole world is mad. Interestingly, I keep seeing those words in other contexts. Perhaps I just spent too long looking at them…
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We see ‘the signs’ everywhere, once we have a decided opinion.
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Shades of Blake in bref double, which if possible, you’ve made so, and also a “frayed” ensō, especially illustrative by your art. Both yield a disconcerting unrest, brilliantly expressed. I think you’ve used this form to great effect, making it organic to your content, K.
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Thanks Dora. The world is restless now, Blakean in feel in many ways.
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This feels like someone caught in a nightmare. I felt like it was pantoum with the lines repeated, even though they weren’t.
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Thanks Merril. Perhaps that’s the rhythm I was searching for. And yes, nightmarish.
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That could be. And you’re welcome.
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This is brilliant! I can feel the disintegration of reason and the surge of pure madness that is pointing to an unpalatable resolution… and I haven’t even mentioned the art!!
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Thanks Muri. Let’s hope things don’t quite disintegrate that completely…
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Intetedting poem and art.
Have a good weekend
Much💛love
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Thanks Gillena.
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Loved it all from the title to the video! I agree with Merril it feels very surreal and nightmarish! 🖤
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Thanks Tricia. The state of the world, sadly.
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Yes, it’s unreal at times! 🖤
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A tinge of e.e. cummings, a dash of Kafka, sporting the brass balls of Bukowski. Your “confusion” seemed to steer you into refrains between the lines, plus the sarcasm of Mark Twain. Nice job. Creative rocking of the prompt.
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Thanks Glenn. Bukowski, without a doubt.
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It feels like losing sanity. Well done!
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Thanks. It does…
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It’s interesting that you said that you had difficulty with the rhythm, Kerfe… I also felt like it sounded “off” to me (I mean my own poem, not yours), but then, after I published it, I reread it later, and it sounded oddly better to me…
Yours is lovely, I think.
❤
David
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Thanks David. Things often look better with time. I find that with art too.
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You conveyed the feeling of unrest, confusion and the madness of it all so well! I liked the second stanza the most. Brilliant post, Kerfe…from the title to the video and all in between.
Thanks so much for the mention.
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Thanks and you’re welcome. It’s hard to escape the madness of our world.
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I agree. You are welcome.
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This was definitely a challenge but you met it perfectly. Like descending down a rope into a maelstrom. The line that pulls most at me is ‘wilderness estranged’. There is a seed of self-destruction in turning so inward that even nature can’t penetrate.
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Thanks Sun. I did that original black mandala after Chris Cornell’s suicide. What we do to each other, ourselves, and our environment is so dark now–it’s no wonder so many lose hope. It’s frightening.
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Love what you did here… it perfectly describes a disturbed mind I think
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Thanks Bjorn.
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